That's where you'll find me.
I wish people knew, sometimes, what's going through my little brain. Every thought I have, every feeling I feel, because sometimes, I hate living inside my own head. Although, my head isn't such a bad place, when you consider that my heart is an even scarier place.
This little tug of war, seems more like a one sided hell. No matter what I feel, there's gonna be someone that gets hurt through it all. I should probably just let it all go, but in the end, that's gonna only make me hurt. I can't win for losing, guess I should be used to that.
I just know what I feel.
But is what I feel, worth the risk of losing what i've gained?
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Stephanie Nichole... I want you to know.. that I love you very much. And I really want whats best for you... I know my visions of what's best are way different than yours. And I know we've had this conversation a million times on why I think what I think. If you really truly think he's going to make you happy. If you really truly think he's ever going to love you the proper way a man should love a woman... if you really truly think he's ever going to change... then go for it.. Don't let me.. tom dick or harry stop you from what you truly want. and really they won't. You'll choose what you want to choose. Hell even your family couldn't break you away from Kenny. And I know if they couldn't do that there's no way in hell anyone's gonna break you away from this one. Because that's not what you want.
ReplyDeleteI'm just angry at you because you don't seem to see my argument. Put yourself in my shoes.. and pretend I'm you for a moment. Look at it from my point of view. Seeing someone you really care about go through something you disagree with.. something that they think is totally right for them but EVERYONE see's it another way.. I've met him... although it was just once.. alarms started going off.... I tried to tell you then but you weren't hearing it. Just like you aren't hearing me now. You had evidence before the engagement was broke of.... you were looking for ways to get out of it.. if he's looking around for a piece of ass somewhere else (no pun intended) before you were even married what do you think it would of been like after marriage?
But like I said.. do whatever.. I don't really care anymore. I'm tired of this argument... I'm tired of seeing you mourn over him... I'm just tired. Nothing I say will change your mind.. you've made that quite obvious..
I know some of the things I said earlier today were uncalled for.. and I don't care to put them on here for everyone to read... but it was about the three year thing... yea that was pretty shitty of me.. But Steph I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make you wake up.. and I don't care who bashes me for it.. who says i'm a shitty friend for it. who says i'm a BITCH for it.. and I really am not trying to make you choose when I said it. I'm just telling you... I won't be able to sit around and watch you do this. I'm sorry. I just can't. You've pushed me out of your life before... So don't hate me if I do the same. I've supported you through a lot of the things you've done.. decisions you've made. But I do not... can not.. and will not support this.
I love you and I'm sorry
Me <3