Nobody Knows it but Me

"The pain is real, even if nobody knows"

I know that people want what's best for me. So, sometimes, when I say things, like what I really want, they think I'm insane.

I'm not insane. I can sit and think of some of the happiest times in my life and they all lead me back to one person or times that involve this person. I thought I was stronger than this. Stronger than all the what ifs and coulda beens. I thought that I was stronger than sitting and constantly thinking about the way things were. But, I'm not. I'm not a strong person. I'm weak, and I don't know that it's a bad thing.

We're making progress. We talk now. That's a good thing. I miss him more and more each day, but us being able to have conversations, is a very positive thing. Even if, everyone says that I probably shouldn't open that can of worms. The damn wormbox opened and spilled out all on it's own. I didn't make it happen, I swear I didn't.

I guess I don't really have much to say tonight. I'm not even sure who reads this anymore. I don't guess I really care who reads it.